Things Unsaid

 

The sun went down slow, the way it did when it wanted to be noticed.

Light spread across the sky in long bands of red and gold. It should have been enough. It usually was for other people. He watched it alone, sitting where he always sat, hands folded, back stiff, saying nothing.

A life could be wasted without drama. He had learned that too late. It did not require disaster or ruin. It only required delay. One choice put off. One word left unsaid. Then another. And another. Time did the rest.

He thought of the woman he had loved. Not in detail. Details hurt more. He thought of her laugh. The way it had surprised him the first time. The way it stopped surprising him after he assumed it would always be there. He had been good at assuming.

Love had not left him all at once. It had gone the way light leaves a room at dusk. Slowly. Quietly. By the time he noticed, it was already dark.

There were things he should have said. Things that would not have cost him much at the time. Pride had seemed cheaper. It rarely was.

The sun slipped lower. The air cooled. The world did not pause for his thinking. It never had.

He wondered who he might have been if he had stayed. If he had tried harder. If he had known that wanting something and keeping it were not the same skill. These questions had no answers now. They came too late and stayed too long.

The sky deepened. Purple edged the gold. For a moment it was beautiful enough to forgive everything. He felt that forgiveness almost reach him. Almost.

Then it passed.

When the light finally left, he remained where he was, alone with what had been and what would never come again. The day ended cleanly. His life had not.

He sat until the first stars appeared, small and indifferent.

There would be another sunset tomorrow.

It would not change anything.